The Risks...

Words have been spoken on both sides...

Emotions have flared...

Tears have been shed...

Sunshine has diminished and gone across the horizon...

I knew the risks going into the last 12 months and yet did it anyways. I knew it was probably a bad idea, and yet followed my heart regardless. I knew there would be issues, I knew there would be drama... but I tried... I really tried to make it work.

I just hit my breaking point... and he hit his. Much grief on both sides has occurred due to it.

I know I'm far from perfect. No one is perfect. I will accept my flaws and move on.

I will accept that I'll once again be pushed into a corner despite the risks I took.

He may now have regrets... I won't... EVER.

The Backlash of Friendship & Love

Ever have something that builds and builds until finally you hit a point where you just want to scream at the top of your lungs at the world? I reached that point Saturday after a few somethings managed to smash together at the same time.

The first came when I was checking to see if I was going to Host at Freakheim for the 1-3pm shift. I've been doing it as a favor to a few friends who work there including the DJ, Marvel. Unfortunately for the last few weeks Marvel hasn't shown up. I never heard the full reasons behind why beyond 'he had RL'. I'm of the opinion, however, that another part of it is that he doesn't want to see me.

There is some backstory to this, of course. After Oz and I broke up, Marv and I would occasionally chat about things (mostly concerning Oz) and through that we became good friends. Eventually I would go hear his DJ sets on Saturdays and so we would continue our conversations about all sorts of things. Then UC and I broke up, and Marv's Host went on leave due to RL. I decided since I was there anyways to become his Host until the previous host returned. Through that he and I got into even deeper conversations. Eventually we admitted that we had feelings for each other. The big problem is that he had already been seeing someone else... but her time on SL is limited. I told him on multiple occasions that I couldn't and wouldn't get in the way of that and got myself to back off. After another few weekends, Marv admitted even deeper feelings, and I had to tell him he had to pick between his current SL gf and me.

Obviously... I wasn't picked. Though suddenly after that whole mess, his SL gf started logging on a ton more often, they got partnered (when he'd told me he's never had plans to partner anyone), and he's not been showing up to his Saturday sets. Sometimes it really sucks to be the voice of reason. Sucks worse when you see your morals spit back in your face.

The second incident came while I was listening to UC's set later in the afternoon. Now anyone who's been to see his DJ sets at any point and time knows that he rarely dances alone. One or more folks (including me for a long while) are there dancing with him on one of his array of dance chimeras. One major fixture involved with this is his friend, Kelly who has been there since UC's n00b days.

Two things can always be said about Kelly...

1) She says very little during the events. Usually just shows that she loves EVERY SONG UC plays and 'LOL's a ton.
2) She will find any way to wear in the least amount of clothing possible and still be dressed for the event.

Not as often (but becoming much more common) is Kelly's ability to copy someone else's Avatar look. Most of the time, I see her copy whatever UC wears. He went neko for a while, and she copied it. He took the ears & the tail off... and so did she. I've told UC that this is unhealthy behavior and she does it to get his attention. I finally even commented in chat one day when he changed and she changed to match during an event because... frankly I was getting worried.

What happened Saturday really pushed me over the edge when she shows up to his set looking not like him... but like ME. Elf ears, my fav Deviant Kitty hairdo, and one of my fav Solange outfits... on HER. Copying UC is one thing to get his attention. Copying me for the same purpose is just shallow. I told UC if she did that again I would tell her as such and my words would not be pleasant.

What all this boils down to is... I am left looking like this bitchy succubus who is constantly shoved off into a corner and ignored. Am I just that horrific? Am I such an awful person? Because I look out for other people I care about and think of others feelings and situations I'm supposed to be scorned and forgotten about?

If that's all that some people think of me, then I really don't want that in my life anymore. I've got more important things to worry about. If you can't handle that I'm trying to help you, or if you don't want me to give a shit, then FUCK OFF.

Remember, Remember the 5th of November...

Happy Guy Fawkes Day!

It seems that not only has this British revolutionary inspired those IRL (including Alan Moore & The Wachowskis) but he has managed to get a ton of Second Life designers to rise up and speak out about content theft. This is being done through various means which includes not buying anything on XStreet for 48 hours and not uploading any textures for 48 hours. If enough people participate, we may be able to make a dent on Linden Labs' lack of concern for others who manage to snag other people's blood, sweat, & tears just to get a quick buck.

Achariya even put up a gallery of beautiful photos using many well known SL clothing & accessory designers along with fashion bloggers offering their opinions on content theft. Please do check it out!

So please show your own support for these designers and don't let content thieves get away with what they are doing. Only if we stick together will we be able to make Linden Labs take notice. And yes this is a 'mob' scenario which somewhat ties into my earlier post, but in this case... a mob is needed for the maximum amount of impact to take place.

365

Both Chestnut & Elusyve have decided to start a 365 day set of self-portraits combined with various types of factoids, comments, etc that go with it. I've thought about doing it myself though I can't officially start until I get back from my Shiprocked trip since that'll keep me away from SL for a week already. Hopefully I can keep up with it for a whole year like these gals plan to do. It also might help me further work on my Photography skills for all I know. :-)

So stay tuned after November 20th for my 365 diary. :-)

Reflection on a Television Icon

Finally... the time has arrived.

Tomorrow ABC is gonna air the pilot episode of the new V TV series. From what I've heard from folks who saw it at ComicCon, it's not -bad-... simply confusing in some places. I just wanna see how Morena Baccarin does taking on the pivotal role that Jane Balder so beautifully created (and perfected) more than 20 years before.

Sci Fi channel decided to show the first 2 mini-series of V back to back on Sunday (which I of course watched and had fun reminiscing about). While re-watching these two iconic shows, I slowly remembered why I loved them the first time around even though I wasn't even a teenager yet when they were around. I mean sure it's a sci-fi show with some cool effects and incredibly well-written storylines... but more to the point it was a show that portrayed extremely strong women as leaders of both factions.

Faye Grant as Julie (the resistance leader) showed off that even a reluctant hero can stand up to anyone and anything for the right cause. She had vulnerabilities to be sure, and certainly managed to remain feminine while still tough as nails. Even after days of torture under the Visitor's roof, she still managed to pull out on top and lead the resistance to a grand victory.

Jane Balder as Diana? Tell you the truth, she scared the **** out of me the first time I saw her. However the more I watched her on screen, the more I realized that she was intelligent, charismatic, and willing to sacrifice anything to gain power. Forget the guys on the Visitor's side... Diana had more balls than any of them.

I can only hope that in this new incarnation the writers keep up that iconic ideal and give all the women equally meaty personalities and storylines. I'm sure that will get those who loved the show before to come back, and draw a new generation in to enjoy it even more.

The End of an Era...

Life always tends to go in cycles. For some the cycles is a few years and for others it's a few decades. Either way, eventually some things you experience will come full circle in either in a good or bad way depending on your perspective. With that all in mind, it's always a travesty when you hear about friends who've done so much work in SL to create a business and then later on decide to close down that business.

That is unfortunately the case with Mayala Loon of LoonAtic Wear and Damian Furse & Elena Portello of Demented Flair. I'm not as much of a customer to Mayala's store as I was Damian & Elena's store, but I have watched from the outskirts as both businesses grew and changed with the passing months and years.

I still remember first seeing Mayala's store at SR and from then on always passing through to see what new stuff she'd have available. I still can't even make a decent prim skirt, and shirts are still kind of a pain for me to get right... but she managed to make such cute outfits that I could only dream about trying. She wore a lot of them when she would Host, so it was cool to see what new design she'd dream up.

I also still remember being invited to Damian & Elena's grand opening party (which is also where I met Rykk Ferraris for the first time) and how much fun it was. Both stores gradually grew over time and made me think of possibly creating my own. Shenandoah Saintlouis gave me my very first retail space, but then Damian & Elena gave me my first true 'main store'. Damian also would give me occasional Photoshopping tips which I still use to this day.

Seeing both LoonAtic Wear and Demented Flair around for long is what makes it so difficult to see them gone. I hope the best for Mayala, Damian and Elena in whatever ventures they may partake in for the future either in SL or RL.